Every one experiences failure in life, only few have the courage to admit it

It might be cynical to say ‘I am a loser’ in front of a group of distinguished individuals but I did, when it mattered the most.

The world is not what we think and there are too many complex phenomenons to draw inference from. Just like a sailing boat, life continued to exist in all circumstances known and commonly attributed as routine. A fresh graduate from a not so popular college and a determination to make life the way it is all planned. If you think there is a word really called plan in the dictionary!

Like a hungry vulture I started my long search of what can be called as ‘search for insanity’ or more precisely a work to feed my intellect! A very generous company offered me a 9 to unspecified job timing and I was exited about the whole yeah! even I EARN THING. But hold it, let me ask a frank question, how many working people  get job satisfaction? Are things such as job rotation, enrichment and blah blah a myth? Don’t these large so called institutions work on a purely ‘double my profit’ business model? Things are not as you intend them to be and there is always an irritating supervisor. Seems like a Dr. Watson is always around the corner straight from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s fictional work ‘Sherlock Holmes-the consulting detective’.

Unmotivated team, disillusioned focus, deprived recognition and 10 other factors made me realize I was quite out of the box. I quit following a 8 month stint as an unrecognized hard worker! Alright, what is the next big thing people do in situation like this? Next job, next set of seniors, next break and finally next move. It is clear by this time that I got to work and there ain’t no super safe locker to be opened as and when required! Doing a masters seemed quite relevant with bright prospects of unleashing the stuff that my seniors did to my own sub-ordinates. Where?

Clear as glass I didn’t have any idea either! Lots of competitive exams to choose from and lot of opinions to filter through. Being a engineer, thought doing a relevant masters would be a good bet and so the stage was set. A candid 2 hour written test followed by a good chick hunt brings me to the point where I started this post with. The Personal Interview I reckon, three senior persons, very senior persons. One wearing a nicely clad suit and the rest a very formal attire, not a tie though. Oh between, the GD went super awesome and think there was just one competitor in the whole lot of 10. It turned out later, the competitor was the highest paid pupil in the college and I didn’t even know he was in our college for lemme guess hmm 18 months or so. Heard of short term memory loss, has any one a long term?

Please have your seat. XYZ (my name). So XYZ, tell us something about yourself.

Standard question and a standard reply of all the false achievements. Alright XYZ. Where did you do your graduation?

(I guess there is a resume attached with this application your holding in your hand monster!)

Aaaa I blah blah.

There seems to be a deviation in the scoring pattern through your educational career, do you have a explanation?

Iiiii I think, certainly. I do! (My scoring pattern is highly distorted and I guess much of this credit goes to the saying- life is short; live it large attitude!!)

Silence beckons the room and I knew I couldn’t bluff at that moment.

I had my share of good scoring prior to grads and I was pretty convinced about that. But the graduation thing was all uncertain and the panel was not in a mood to listen to crap. I bluntly replied, although I do not have better scores I in any circumstance have the ability to adopt quickly and learn what I should have already!

‘I am loser’ is a accepted fact and I am in the process of learning from my shortfalls, failures are bound to be experienced. It happens at a tender age for some and at a latter stage for others, I am glad I fall into the group of formers.

I couldn’t sense my words at the instant and there instilled a sense of confidence for I was not lying.

I still have not figured the response and the panel left that there. I was anticipating a stress interview but God’s grace had showered once more.

A few more q’s technical though were bombarded and a shiver ran through for the feeling of a Kamikaze (self destructive Japanese war planes during WWII). But the repeated papers that I wrote during grad made me fly by the q’s and I was left with some personal q’s regarding the financing and dependencies back home.

All is well that ends well, I do continue to work but more smartly then I used to earlier. Office politics is just the game you got to get accustomed to, R and R’s keeps the ball rolling. God is there somewhere watching every move, maybe a Dr. Watson behind your back. Have faith in lord almighty and the belief in self of a better insane life!

Om sai ram

Keep watching this space for more posts on God and his blessings in disguise. Life is a journey and make notes that are useful in turbulent times.

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