I am the kind of person who is always in an emotional mess. I have been like this since my early adolescence. My thought pattern remains constant, what varies is the circumstances leading to the initiation of thoughts. Why do we adapt ourselves to be like our ‘influencers’? How can one decipher the meaning of inner happiness? Why do we keep procrastinating to do that one thing in life until the time to reach the moment of euphoria?
The answers are not complex, only if we make our lives simpler, if we take time to realize what is hidden in the present.
I have rarely come across a day in my matured life where I have not interacted with my soul, or something more commonly called, the voice within. In many instances, there are multiple voices. Good voice and bad voice is the manifestation of our upbringing, they are so simple to understand and decode. Good is for God and bad is for Demon. The complexity in my thought process has different voices and the nature of guidance provided by these voices form a spectrum. I have never come across a situation when I got a decisive answer out-rightly from these so called ‘advisers’. Naturally, this process is time consuming, and has plenty of external influencers. When in doubt, I am not biased in my decisions but I am rather concerned about the way I analyse the data and conclude on its interpretation.
Each one of us have unknown and far-fetched capabilities. The reason it is unknown is because of our own flaws, our non-attachment to the things which really matter. I am not special in any way. I am sure that I could not have had a better day even if I was one. The fact of the matter is that, we keep reinventing the wheel, or at least a majority of the human race does, we flow with the mood, we move with the flock. We are drifting in a vortex.
It is my choice, and because of all the important choices I have taken till date, I am in the position today. Consequently, I don’t know if any of my choices were wise or otherwise. I have my doubts. I go back to the point in time when I took such decisions, with or without consent of others and seek answers pertaining to their righteousness. Yes, I feel calm, because my decisions are not necessarily for my well being alone. I also look at it from the other side of the prism, at that moment in time, if I would have taken a decision on the contrary.
It’s not envy!